Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Adjusting

So I've become a total online creeper networking ninja when it comes to Army wives/Army life...specifically in the form of blogs. I've scoured the Internet looking for military wife blogs, specifically from people who have gone through a PCS to Germany. (Did you see what I did there? Threw a military acronym at you.) I've been amazed at what I've found...there's an entire community that I never knew existed. And it makes me feel a little less alone and a little less afraid and a little more understood.

 It's very slowly sinking in for me that our life, and even my role as a wife, is dramatically different from most of the people I know. And I'm sure that will even out over time as I make more friends in the military world, but right now it's hard to figure out how to process what's going on because there's limited people that I know that can connect with these feelings.

Don't get me wrong, our families and friends have been incredibly supportive in every way...they are wonderful and I'm so thankful for them during this time. But there's something about connecting with someone who has shared this rare experience that brings a sense of comfort that otherwise can't be found in normal conversation. So, I've turned to the Internet. And with every new blog I read, this one thought is reinforced in my mind: If they can do it, I can do it.

We're not the first people to move to a foreign country. I'm not the first wife to feel this mixture of excitement and anxiety. Many have gone down this path before us. And that's comforting to me.

I came across this statement on an Army wife blog and it struck a chord with me, because oh my gosh it's true:

 "The Army has made my life full of countdowns and I love it" 


This has been true of my life since Z and I met. Countdowns to when we would see each other next, countdowns for when deployment would end, countdowns to our wedding, countdowns to moving to Germany... Army life is segmented in a way that civilian life is not. And whether it's days, months, or years, there is always going to be some sort of change looming on the horizon. Contrary to what you may think, that doesn't make it hard to live in the moment. From the time we set foot in Germany, we'll be on a countdown to our next move three years down the road.  So while we're very aware of how numbered our days are in any given place, we're still able to fully experience where we are currently, to get as rooted as we can, and to live like we will be there forever. And when things aren't going well, it's sometimes nice to know that it won't be like that forever.

It's been a huge adjustment to transition into the military world...but one that I'm really trying to embrace and appreciate.

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