There are 5 boxes of Girl Scout cookies in my home and my husband wants to start the Paleo diet. In two days.
The Paleo Diet, aka the caveman diet. Meats, fruits,veggies. Nothing processed. No dairy. NO CARBS. No fun.
I get anxiety just thinking about this. Twofold anxiety…first, because I LOVE cheese. And bread. And french fries. And chips. Secondly, because I don’t know how I’m going to plan and prepare meals without carbs. Off the top of my head I can only think of so many combinations of fish or chicken and vegetables before I get bored and wander to the pantry for a cookie. FURTHERMORE, every recipe that I see on Pinterest that looks amazingly delicious contains everything we won’t be allowed to eat.
I have enough trouble as it is planning meals that don’t include cereal. Now this?!
I made a grocery list today and immediately had to cross off the first three items when I realized we shouldn’t have Cheerios, beer or peanut butter in the house during our 45 days of AWFUL.
The thing is... Z has been talking about doing this since before Christmas. He wanted to start in February. But when February came and went and we still had made no moves to start this torture, I started to relax. We weren’t REALLY doing this. It was just good intentions. It was a “fun” idea. But about a week ago, Z casually says “March 15th…that’s when we’ll start Paleo”.
Turns out he’s serious this time. When I asked why now, he explained that trying to maintain such a strict diet from February through the end of April was probably too much. So we’re doing 6 weeks instead. In my opinion, trying to maintain this diet from noon until 6pm is probably too much, but that doesn’t seem to sway him. Conveniently, these 6 weeks lead up to our St. Lucian honeymoon that we’re taking at the beginning of May, so that is the only motivating factor for me. And that’s not super motivating, I’m sorry to say.
So, we’re doing this. Although, I’m already thinking about my upcoming two weeks of business travel and how I may have to bend some Paleo rules. “Bend” meaning “ignore completely”, in this case. Until then, I’ve taken it upon myself to purge the house of all non-Paleo foods before we embark on this…thing. And since I don’t like the idea of throwing out food, I’ll be eating it. No, no, it’s not some noble sacrifice on my part. It’s just doing what anyone would do…for the cause. I'm no hero.
Get over here, Thin Mints.