Wednesday, August 1, 2012

305: I would dress the wound

I wrote this last week as I was reflecting on the past 10 months of marriage with Zach. These are the things I want to remember when I look back on our first year of marriage and our first months in Germany.

Dear Z,

Ten months! 305 days, but who's counting? My iPhone countdown app, that's who. Turns out it counts UP after it reaches the countdown day (our wedding day, in this case). So it's fun to look at every so often and see how far we've come and where our first year of marriage has taken us at 63 days, 124 days, 305 days...

Here's what I've noticed most recently...and what I want to remember about our first year of marriage at the 10 month mark. We laugh a LOT together. Well, usually together. 

Sometimes I laugh at you...
Because of the way you make up lyrics when you sing along in the car. Or because of the faces you make or the things you say and the way you say them. I love who you are. No one makes me laugh like you do (and I REALLY value that).

Recently, in the wake of the terrible tragedy in Aurora, CO, I was thinking about what it could have been like in that theater when the gunman started shooting and I asked you, out of the blue, what you would do if someone shot me. With no hesitation, you responded, "I would dress the wound".

*blink blink*

I was going for more of a Liam Neeson in the movie "Taken" response..."I have a particular set of skills and I will hunt you down and hurt you for injuring my wife" -type of response. 

You, you would dress the wound. (And actually, that response is so much more perfect than anything else you could have said, because you are caring for me, protecting me, meeting my needs, and looking out for my well-being first and foremost. I melt.)

But in that moment, I laughed out loud as you looked at me in confusion. You would...dress the wound? My hero!

Seriously though, you are. 

I still smile every time I think about that conversation.

And then sometimes you are laughing at me...
Because I've made some ridiculous statement or I'm whining about how you never take me seriously...and that usually just makes you laugh harder, because we both know that's not true. The truth is that I LOVE making you laugh. Not just a quiet chuckle or a quick "ha!". I go for the belly-laugh. Nothing makes me happier than being able to reduce you to the "quiet laugh" where you can't catch your breath. I think I love it so much because I know that there's only a few people in your life that can make you laugh like that...and I'm so glad I am one of them.

Usually, though, we are laughing together. I love laughing with you. I love that even when I have a lonely day, or I'm feeling sad while missing friends and family, you and I will usually laugh about something...and in those moments, I wouldn't choose to be anywhere else with anyone else.

In the recent months, we've spend a LOT of time alone together, since we haven't made many friends yet. Because of this, we've started to sound a lot alike (which is sometimes scary, but mostly hilarious). On multiple occasions we've had the same reaction at the same time (usually in the form of a sound effect) to different situations and when this happens, we die laughing. Like when we passed that tiny European car the other day and both made the "meep meep" Road Runner noise at the same time. Who does that?! If this keeps up, I can only imagine what it will be like 20 years from now. We are going to embarrass our kids SO MUCH. It's ok. It builds character.

Zachary, these are the things I want to remember and the things I cling to...I want to tuck them away for the times when maybe we aren't laughing as much. These are the things I pray will continue to grow the longer we're married and not fade away as the shiny gleam of newlywed life is dulled by routine and responsibility and the simple passage of time.

We've had such a unique first year of marriage. We've been through things that have only made our bond stronger, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. With you, it hasn't been a hard year. It has had it's challenges, but those challenges always seem to swirl around "us", outside of our relationship. We haven't had a choice but to remain solidly bonded to one another because a lot of the time...most of the time...there hasn't been anyone else to turn to. Our friends and family are far away. We just have each other right now. 

And I wouldn't have it any other way for these first 305 days.


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