One year ago today we were saying goodbye to our families
and walking (sobbing…Zach, not me. Ok fine. Me.) through the airport to board our
plane for Baltimore, where we would catch our military flight to Germany.
In so many ways it feels like yesterday, but in other ways
it feels like ages ago. Time is funny like that.
I remember the days leading up to our departure and how incredibly stressful they were for me. Not due to external circumstances, but
simply because of the energy it took for me to hold myself together through my
best friend’s wedding and countless goodbyes to friends and family. I was
overwhelmed. I was tired. I was excited and scared and sad and expectant. I was
really tired of living out of a suitcase.
We stood in the airport trying to extend those final
good-bye moments and learned that Z’s brother and sister-in-law were pregnant.
I distinctly remember the feeling I had when we got that news…I was SO
overjoyed, yet I felt like rocks were in my throat as I realized we would be
gone for the first years of that sweet child’s life.
We hugged my other sweet sister-in-law and said goodbye to
the baby in her belly…and I felt those same stabs of sadness about missing out
on watching their family grow; about being the aunt and uncle so far away.
(Fast forward a year later and I’ve had the opportunity to
meet my ADORABLE niece and nephew, 2 and 6 months old, on my trip back to the
states last month. What a blessing. But my throat still gets a little tight
when I consider how far away we are and how little we’ll be in their lives in
the coming years…)
I remember the moment I lost it in the airport. It was when
I went to hug my parents and in-laws. I remember standing in the security line
crying the kind of cry that is painful due to the strain of trying NOT to cry.
I remember the kind security guard who offered to give our
parents gate-passes so they could go all the way to the gate with us…and I
remember turning him down because I couldn’t stand the thought of prolonging
the good-bye all the way through the airport.
I remember landing in Germany and thinking how green and
beautiful and foreign it was. I remember sitting in the military terminal
waiting to hear what Z’s new assignment would be (his orders changed the day
after we shipped out, so we weren’t sure where we would end up. Not stressful
at all for me…right). I remember the long bus ride and how we were supposed to
stop for lunch, but we never did. I remember taking in the Germany scenery and
giggling at all the “Ausfahrt” signs. I remember being exhausted and feeling
very, very far away.
I remember our sponsor taking us to Burger King after not
having food for about 14 hours. I remember getting into our hotel and
immediately using my Clorox travel wipes to sanitize the entire room. The room
was super clean, but in that moment, Cloroxing everything was something I could
control, so it made me feel better. I remember lying in bed that first night
and marveling at how it was still light outside at 10pm.
I remember feeling jet-lagged and a little bit scared as Z
left me alone in the hotel over the next few days to do his in-processing and
get everything squared away for his new job, our new house, and our new life in
Germany.
I remember blogging, walking around the small town, sitting
in the Java Café on post, watching a LOT of movies, and seriously looking
forward to getting out of the hotel room and into a home. I remember really
easing into my new world here. I remember trying to accomplish just one thing
each day. “Today I will go into the grocery store and look around.” Then I
would retreat back to the comfort of our hotel room, my safe-zone and
home-base.
I remember looking at our housing options and choosing our house…then sitting in the empty house for hours waiting for our household goods to be delivered.
I remember how unpacking those boxes of our things felt like
Christmas and how good it was to set up our home. Then I remember how bored I
was after that was done.
In one year we have made Germany our home. We’ve had friends
and family visit (and planning more visits!). We’ve done a LOT of traveling (8
countries so far). We got our sweet German puppy. We’ve changed jobs. We’ve
made friends. We survived the winter (no seriously. This deserves both
recognition and celebration.)
And we’ve really fallen in love with Germany. This is home
now. And while there are things we both miss about living in the States, we
LOVE it here (caveat: it’s easier to talk about how much we love it when it’s
not freezing cold and covered in snow.) (Additional caveat: Zach always loves
it. Even the freezing-cold-covered-in-snow version. Weirdo.)
I can’t wait to see what the next 2 years hold for us…here’s
to long summers and short winters, many new friends, and much more traveling
across Europe!
