Thursday, August 21, 2014

High Priority

When Z became a company commander, he had a lot of responsibility dealing directly with a huge variety of issues.

This variety covered everything from arrests to marital issues to almost anything else you could image, most of which I don't fully understand (Army stuff), but it also meant he came home with a LOT of very interesting stories.

This was one of my favorites by far.

He once received a letter addressed to "The Honorable" followed by his title. Let me just take a minute to say that "The Honorable" is not part of his professional title. Not even close. So this was a little suspicious. 

Inside the envelope was a two page letter, obviously not proofread, obviously written in a bout of self-righteous anger and indignation. Allow me share some of the finer points:

"I am writing you this letter to inform you about tax evasion on one of your US Army staff..."

"I feel my duty to inform you of this incident, and I knew sooner or later the Internal Revenue Department would notice the problem...If I get kill [sic] or injured for informing the Army of such incident, I will be proud [...] to defend the United States against foreign or domestic threat."
  "On a different note, (the offending party's name has been removed) got very drunk and made her grandma cry, disrespected her mother, and insulted me, and became very disorderly, if a police man would have been present she would have been cited for disorderly conduct."

This went on, as I said, for TWO PAGES.

The note concluded with this:
 "Cc: The White House"

There are many things that should probably be addressed (fear of death by sniper over informing the Army of alleged tax evasion) and that may be slightly alarming about this letter (she made her grandmother cry, THAT MONSTER!), but my biggest concern is that I'm just not quite sure the author of this beautiful diatribe understands exactly how CC: works. Yet I feel like they were absolutely confident that it would reach the White House nonetheless.

Patriotic duty fulfilled.

God bless America.

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